From time to time, we invite guests to join us on our reviewing excursions. On this particular outing to Guru the Caterer (GtC) we were joined by Luis, the Mysterious Portugese Professor. Chat was the first to arrive at GtC and was busily taking note of the decidedly Cantabrigian inscription underneath the GtC sign which read, “Divine Indian Food for Brilliant Minds.”
Luis arrived shortly thereafter. Although the two had never met, Luis proclaimed, “You must be Chat!”
“Indeed,” Chat responded, “how did you know?”
To which Luis responded, “Yogi told me to look for the guy taking notes.” Because who else would be taking notes at a restaurant‽
Anyway, upon the arrival of Yogi, Jill, and Margot, the great GtC adventure began. Saffron-colored walls provided the background for pictures of multiple bearded individuals (gurus of yore?), a scary lady, and aerial menus sporting the title, “D’Guru”— clearly this guru thinks he’s D’Bomb. D’Cramped interior was clearly not intended for dining but contained a few pieces of patio furniture complete with assembly instruction labels. These furniture items, however limited, were sufficiently sturdy to withstand D’Large quantity of food we soon ordered. After Yogi’s request to tour D’Kitchen was declined by the staff, Yogi surreptitiously inspected it nonetheless, and was pleasantly surprised to find an antiseptically clean environment akin to MTR itself—one must recall the wise words of D’Mahatma: “cleanliness is next to godliness.”
The vegetarian samosas had the distinct aroma of cinnamon, making them taste like Christmas. The chapathi was plasmatic and not too greasy—excellent. The chicken tikka masala consisted of firm, real chicken, and sauce unlike any other we had encountered up to this point. The palak paneer, though creamy, was unremarkable, whereas the lamb curry was excellent, with a beautifully balanced sauce. The dahl was quite spicy, with a mix of multiple contrasting flavors—apparently a hallmark of Indian cuisine*. Whereas the chana masala sported excellent cookitude, the aloo achar was slightly uncooked, suggesting that even D’Guru has much to learn about heat transfer. The meal was rounded out by a viscous mango lassi and an excellent pickle.
The Sanskrit word “guru” connotes one who is a master of his or her profession. The missteps we observed during our visit suggest that Guru the Caterer has yet to fully master his trade. Nonetheless, GtC is a solid four samosa (▲▲▲▲) restaurant at a rock-bottom price of one rupee (₨). Although D’Guru purports to provide D’Vine food for brilliant minds, you need not be a guru yourself—in fact, even D’Philistine should eat here.
*See “Spices form the basis of food pairing in Indian cuisine,” Jain et al. 2015.
Thanks to our reviewers-in-crime: Jill, Margot, and Luis!