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Guru the Caterer

From time to time, we invite guests to join us on our reviewing excursions. On this particular outing to Guru the Caterer (GtC) we were joined by Luis, the Mysterious Portugese Professor. Chat was the first to arrive at GtC and was busily taking note of the decidedly Cantabrigian inscription underneath the GtC sign which read, “Divine Indian Food for Brilliant Minds.”  

Luis arrived shortly thereafter.  Although the two had never met, Luis proclaimed, “You must be Chat!”

“Indeed,” Chat responded, “how did you know?”

To which Luis responded, “Yogi told me to look for the guy taking notes.”  Because who else would be taking notes at a restaurant‽

Anyway, upon the arrival of Yogi, Jill, and Margot, the great GtC adventure began.  Saffron-colored walls provided the background for pictures of multiple bearded individuals (gurus of yore?), a scary lady, and aerial menus sporting the title, “D’Guru”— clearly this guru thinks he’s D’Bomb.  D’Cramped interior was clearly not intended for dining but contained a few pieces of patio furniture complete with assembly instruction labels. These furniture items, however limited, were sufficiently sturdy to withstand D’Large quantity of food we soon ordered. After Yogi’s request to tour D’Kitchen was declined by the staff, Yogi surreptitiously inspected it nonetheless, and was pleasantly surprised to find an antiseptically clean environment akin to MTR itself—one must recall the wise words of D’Mahatma: “cleanliness is next to godliness.”

The vegetarian samosas had the distinct aroma of cinnamon, making them taste like Christmas. The chapathi was plasmatic and not too greasy—excellent. The chicken tikka masala consisted of firm, real chicken, and sauce unlike any other we had encountered up to this point. The palak paneer, though creamy, was unremarkable, whereas the lamb curry was excellent, with a beautifully balanced sauce. The dahl was quite spicy, with a mix of multiple contrasting flavors—apparently a hallmark of Indian cuisine*. Whereas the chana masala sported excellent cookitude, the aloo achar was slightly uncooked, suggesting that even D’Guru has much to learn about heat transfer. The meal was rounded out by a viscous mango lassi and an excellent pickle.

The Sanskrit word “guru” connotes one who is a master of his or her profession. The missteps we observed during our visit suggest that Guru the Caterer has yet to fully master his trade. Nonetheless, GtC is a solid four samosa (▲▲▲▲) restaurant at a rock-bottom price of one rupee (₨).  Although D’Guru purports to provide D’Vine food for brilliant minds, you need not be a guru yourself—in fact, even D’Philistine should eat here.

*See “Spices form the basis of food pairing in Indian cuisine,” Jain et al. 2015.

Thanks to our reviewers-in-crime: Jill, Margot, and Luis!

Name: Guru the Caterer
Address: 1295 Broadway, Somerville, Teele Square
Phone: 617-718-0078
Website: guruthecaterer.com
Our Yelp Review
Delivery: No…but there’s catering!

CAMBRIDGE + SOMERVILLE REVIEWS

BERKELEY REVIEWS

GLOBAL REVIEWS

RATINGS (CAMBRIDGE + SOMERVILLE)

Guru the Caterer
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨

The Kebab Factory
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Desi Dhaba
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Chutney's
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨

Passage to India
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Dosa Factory
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Shalimar of India
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Frozen Yogi
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨

Punjabi Dhaba
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨

Tanjore
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Dosa-n-Curry
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

RATINGS (GLOBAL)

Milan Indian Cuisine (Charlottesville, Va.)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

UA 84
Rating: ▲△△△△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨+++

Amber Moon (Burlingame, Calif.)
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

India Quality (Boston, Mass.)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Little India Restaurant (Toronto, Ontario, Canada)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Bhanu’s Indian Grocery and Cuisine (San Gabriel, Calif.)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲▲
Price: ₨

Udupi Bhavan (Middletown, Conn.)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Whip In (Austin, Tex.)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

RATINGS (BERKELEY)

Hare Krishna Temple (ISKCON Berkeley)
Rating: ▲▲▲▲▲
Price: ₨–

Indus Village Restaurant
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨

East Bay Spice Company
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

K.P. Café
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Bombay Cuisine
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Vik's Chaat Corner
Rating: ▲▲▲▲▲
Price: ₨ ₨

Yak 'n' Yeti (now Chulo)
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

House of Curries (College)
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨ ₨

India Chaat & Sweets
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Tikka Korner
Rating: ▲△△△△
Price: ₨

Kabana Restaurant
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Chaat Café
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Mehak Indian Cuisine
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Viceroy
Rating: ▲△△△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Namaste Madras Cuisine
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Punjabi by Nature
Rating: ▲△△△△
Price: ₨

Priya Indian Cuisine
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨

Mint Leaf Indian Bistro
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨+

Everest Cafe
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Khana Peena Indian Cuisine
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Ajanta
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨+

Breads of India & Gourmet Curries
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Zaika
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Mount Everest Restaurant
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨

Biryani House
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨

Himalayan Flavors
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Flavors of India
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨

Udupi Palace
Rating: ▲▲▲▲▲
Price: ₨ ₨

Naan 'N' Curry
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨

House of Curries (Durant)
Rating: ▲▲△△△
Price: ₨

Taste of the Himalayas
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨ ₨ ₨+

Urbann Turbann
Rating: ▲▲▲▲△
Price: ₨

Indian Flavor Express
Rating: ▲▲▲△△
Price: ₨

LEGEND

▲▲▲▲▲ — Exquisite
Worthy of out-of-town guests.

▲▲▲▲△ — Very good
To be sought out if at all possible.

▲▲▲△△ — Acceptable
A reasonable choice if no four-samosa restaurant is nearby.

▲▲△△△ — Bad
The food won't kill you, but you should never choose to eat here.

▲△△△△ — Horrible
The food may kill you. Never eat here. Choose starvation instead.

₨ ₨ ₨ — Pricey ( > $20 / person )
₨ ₨ — Average ( $15 / person )
₨ — Cheap ( $10 / person )

Note that the above prices apply to Berkeley. A per-person increase of $5-10 can be expected in pricier Cambridge and Somerville.

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